We’ve all been there: a flunked test, a lost job, a missed opportunity. The moment of cold dread as a door closes in your face, feeling like you’re pivoting away from the plans and goals you’d made for yourself. 

Why does failure feel like the end of the world?

“Because it feels better to win,” says Dr. Sean Rogers. “When you succeed, your brain releases reward neurotransmitters, like dopamine, that make you feel good.” Inversely, aversive neurotransmitters are released during failure or letdown, which make us want to avoid repeating unsuccessful behaviour.

The associate professor of psychology says that there’s more to our relationship with failure than just the immediate upset. The frequency and severity of failures we experience can alter our self-esteem and have other long-term effects on our mental health, like increased risks of anxiety or depression.

But that doesn’t mean that failure is always bad. In Dr. Rogers’ research, he’s found that facing difficulties can make us more resilient – and to an extent, adversity itself can actually be a good thing.

“The same factors of an adverse event that can result in trauma can also result in growth,” he says. “How you interpret the event seems to play a large role, as does having too much or too little adversity. There’s a sweet spot of having faced some struggles, without them being overwhelming.”

Failure shouldn’t be seen as an end, says Rogers, but rather an obstacle to find a way around by building skills, understanding and abilities. Doing that, he says, involves figuring out what doesn’t work.

“Failure is not only a part of the road, it’s an expected step,” says Dr. Rogers.

We spoke to some MacEwan community members about their failures and struggles – and the ways that those moments of self-doubt and fear actually led them to their passions. Read their stories – and some advice from MacEwan’s Academic Advising Centre on how to handle your own big choices.

Eva Hollas turned an “F” into a tribute to her father

Eva Hollas, Bachelor of Arts ’24, was watching a parliament session on Cable Public Affairs Channel (CPAC) during a study break on campus when she realized politics might be for her. At the time, she was spending a year as an open studies student upgrading a couple of lacklustre grades from high school to qualify for the Bachelor of Arts program.

Her excitement of being accepted was short-lived. Losing her father during her first year meant taking a semester off to focus on herself and her family.

“I tried to immediately go back to school, but I had depression and mental health issues, so I ended up dropping out again,” says Hollas. “I got to the point where I thought I wasn’t ever going to finish my degree. I even took an F when that could have been avoided by withdrawing from a course.”

Eventually, her love of learning returned – and helped her feel connected to her late father.

“I idolized my dad – he’s not my birth dad, but he did raise me from the time that I was in Grade 6 until he passed away when I was 19. He also really loved learning. He had a couple of master’s degrees and almost finished his PhD,” says Hollas. “Being a student was something that we really connected over. It was hard to be in that space without him, but I know that’s what he would have wanted.”

When she returned, Hollas dove right in – joining clubs and volunteering. By the time she graduated, she was walking across the stage to receive the President’s Medal for Academic Excellence and Student Leadership.

Her advice? “School is supposed to be fun,” she says. “I learned to enjoy the experience and try to make the most of it,” she says. 

She continued to do that while pursuing her master’s degree in political science, which she’ll complete this year. After that?

“Maybe eventually I’ll go on to do my PhD,” Hollas says. “I’d like to work in policy with the government. I've also considered working for a union or a nonprofit. I might have to try on a couple hats before I figure it out.”

Need support right now? See how Academic Advising can help.

For Kairo Martens, the third time was a charm

“I flunked out of school twice before coming to MacEwan,” says Kairo Martens, Bachelor of Arts ’23.

The first time, Martens was 17, living in California and feeling the pressure to go straight into university from high school. He enrolled in UC Irvine as an undeclared student, but left during his second semester. Round two was at the University of Alberta, where computer science also didn’t feel like the right fit.

“I wasn’t connecting with the material. I wasn’t even checking my email. I couldn’t motivate myself to go anymore. So I just stopped going. It wasn’t a mature way to handle it.”

Martens swapped his keyboard for a set of kitchen knives and worked his way up to cooking in fine-dining restaurants. But the long hours started feeling unsustainable. So when his girlfriend, now wife, decided to go back to school, they enrolled at MacEwan together.

“I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just wanted a degree,” he says. “But when I took an English course on a whim with Dr. Mike Perschon about The Wizard of Oz, it blew my mind. That course opened my eyes to the creative possibilities of academic research and showed me that critical analysis can be collaborative and fun. I ended up doing English as a major, then decided to take the honours program – and Mike ended up being my supervisor for my thesis.”

Once he found the right program, the grades came a lot easier. He also worked as a research assistant in the Department of English, as a tutor in the Writing Centre and earned a Dean’s Medal when he graduated. Six months later, he was back at MacEwan working as an academic advisor, using his own experiences to help students on their own journeys. He’s familiar with the stresses and struggles they’re facing, and knows what would have helped him in those moments of doubt and indecision.

“The mentors I’ve had here were really impactful, and that made a big difference,” says Martens. “Having people telling you, ‘Yes, you’re doing a good job,’ and ‘Yes, you can do this’ helped a lot. That’s who I hope to be to students, too.”

Struggling with school? Check out some Student Support resources that might help.

Andrew Seeley knows all knowledge is useful

Andrew Seeley, Social Work ’08, Management Studies ’05, originally came to MacEwan with plans to head to the University of Alberta for a teaching degree. When he received a notice that he was required to withdraw, that plan fell apart.

“I realize now that I wasn’t mature enough to be a student then,” he says. “I wasn’t ready, and I made poor choices.”

His faith, family and friends kept him going, and he started working at a dinner theatre to earn cash while figuring out what to do next. When he was offered a managerial role, he decided to come back to MacEwan to learn the ins and outs of management.

But by the end of his one-year certificate program, the passion just wasn’t there.

“When I originally planned to go into teaching, it was because I wanted to work with kids. I love kids,” says Seeley. 

His mother – an alum of MacEwan’s Child and Youth Care program – was working in a group home at the time. Seeley took a job there, doing overnight shifts while using his certificate to work in sales during the day. 

“I fell in love with the kids, fell in love with the dynamic,” he says. “My mom encouraged me to take social work, because she thought it would open more doors for me.”

As he started course planning for his Bachelor of Social Work program, he was surprised to see that some of the classes he’d taken in Management Studies also counted toward his degree.

“I had changed and had a desire for different things, but the stuff I learned in my certificate program wasn’t necessarily thrown away,” he says. “I hadn’t actually wasted my time. Knowledge is knowledge – you might have to figure out how to apply it, but it’s still there.”

These days, Seeley works with children experiencing mental health crises at the Stollery Children’s Hospital and in his private practice. He says he’s found his calling as a social worker – and he wants to improve the way people see them.

“The title of ‘social worker’ comes with baggage and all kinds of historical implications, but I have an opportunity to change our perception of what that means now – being inclusive and talking to marginalized groups and advocating for the people that really need help.”

In times of struggle, there’s help on campus

Taking time away, changing programs or winding up on academic probation can feel like a massive failure. But according to MacEwan’s Manager of Academic Advising Karen Ravagnolo, those issues are common – and often fixable.

“We try to normalize that change is okay,” she says. “I think that sometimes there’s anxiety around coming into something and needing to see it through. But university really is about exploration, it’s about finding your passion.”

Ravagnolo suggests visiting an advisor before making any major academic decisions – especially when you get bad news.

“We try to take away that sense of finality,” says Ravagnolo. “When the institution says, ‘Hey, things aren’t going great,’ we can help students see their options, resources or campus services, and empower them to make informed choices.”

Even the worst-case scenario isn’t a dead end, says Ravagnolo. No matter the situation, there is a solution.

“It may not be ideal, and it may not be easy, but having a conversation about choices allows students to make a plan and move forward.”